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Answer #1 | 21/12 2013 22:13
You realize this is not just about a wedding reception. What other sacrifices are you going to have to make to "make his mother happy"? Why do her wishes matter more than yours, or even his? (And if this is what he wants - which it might be, considering big weddings are a big part of his cultural heritage - why is he hiding behind her instead of saying so?) On the flip side, why are you insisting that your guest list for an event that's supposed to be about both of you consist 100% of people you know, regardless of how little their presence may mean to him? Why are you expecting to be nervous and insecure around people who have showed up specifically to support you and him? That's not a compromise; that's you being stubborn in the opposite direction. The wedding you dreamed is not going to happen because you dreamed it on your own, and didn't have to take his wishes into account. And the same holds true for him. Start by figuring out what two you actually can afford, settle the India question, and go from there.
Answer #2 | 22/12 2013 06:29
Sounds like you aren't willing to compromise yourself! Have a bigger wedding; you really won't regret it!
Answer #3 | 22/12 2013 05:00
Go along with a larger wedding as long as YOU don't carry the cost of the far as having it in India try the word no....then point since you gave on the size, he gives on location....and stick to the No......if he threatens no wedding, then tell him since he refuses to compromise, it's for the best. (calling his bluff).
Answer #4 | 21/12 2013 22:54
He is not ready for marriage. He doesn't understand that marriage is ALL ABOUT compromise, and worse still, he's a mama's boy. Run, don't walk away from this train wreck.
Answer #5 | 22/12 2013 07:43
If you are having this much trouble now with the wedding plans what do you think your life is going to be like living with him Rethink the whole thing. This is a huge red flag
Answer #6 | 22/12 2013 08:00
And so what is the compromise your are proposing? It sounds like you just want what you want, and he wants what he wants and you are mad because he is not giving in. Compromise means that you both give a little to make the other happy. But you do not sound like you are willing to do that either.
Answer #7 | 22/12 2013 13:12
I work with a women that had a reception in the afternoon. At night they had a backyard bbq with younger people. Could you consider something like that. An Reception you want, then a more relax BBQ that you could invite his friends to. Could you afford all the people
Answer #8 | 22/12 2013 11:11
So... in your view, he should not invite people he is very close to because you don't know them? Is that the compromise? Sorry, but they aren't strangers to him...
Answer #9 | 22/12 2013 08:38
Simple. Don't marry this man, or his family. He is clearly holding their wishes above your own, and when you marry, you should both be more concerned about the other than what the rest of the family is pressuring you to do. This isn't going to get better - it is representative of what the rest of your life will be like with him. Treat it as the litmus test it should be, and call it off - or be miserable for a very very long time. You deserve to be heard and respected, and that is not happening here.

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