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Just got asked to be a bridesmaid, can I ask the bride to be about the expenses?

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  • Just got asked to be a bridesmaid, can I ask the bride to be about the expenses?


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Answer #1 | 02/01 2014 17:51
Absolutely. You should know what is expected of you and what it will cost. If you can't afford to be part of her day then you can thank her for the honor, politely decline and still plan to attend the wedding as a guest.
Positive: 66.666666666667 %
Answer #2 | 02/01 2014 12:04
i would go and discuss it with her no bride can expect you to pay for anything you cannot afford or are comfortable about and you are correct in asking before saying yes some brides do push the boundaries
Positive: 66.666666666667 %
Answer #3 | 02/01 2014 14:01
tell her NO it will cost more than u have
Positive: 66.666666666667 %
Answer #4 | 02/01 2014 15:52
Absolutely discuss it with her. It honestly shocks me that more brides and bridesmaids don't seem to have this discussion. I come on here and see questions like "I was asked to be a bridesmaid and now the bride wants me to spend $200 on a dress!" and I think to myself "how did the bride even think that was a responsible number?" Just be honest and polite but firm.
Positive: 50 %
Answer #5 | 02/01 2014 12:15
You need to talk to her. You need to say that you would love to be a bridesmaid, but you have no money. You need to know before you say yes, is that you would not except you spend a lot of money.
Positive: 50 %
Answer #6 | 02/01 2014 12:54
You were doing fine until the very end, when you said she "can expect whatever she wants" from her bridesmaids. Don't interpret this to mean you have to give it to her! In fact, when someone agrees to be a bridesmaid, the only thing they're committing to is buying a dress and showing up for the wedding. So sure, talk to her. In fact, you're ahead of a lot of people in even asking about this. Just remind her of your finances and ask her about the dresses and shoes. Does she have a budget limit? See what she says. But keep it to just the dress, because this is an indirect way of implying that's pretty much all you can afford. If you're unemployed, that's pretty much the case. Once you've done this, in many cases, that's the end of the expenses. If later on, the MOH wants to organize a shower or bachelorette, fine...but she should never even start thinking about it before talking to each bridesmaid to see what you can do to help. If it's nothing, say so. If you can bring an appetizer platter, say so. If she starts making grandiose plans without checking first, this was both rude and stupid on her part. Don't feel guilty if you have to remind her that it's never ok to "spend" someone else's money without checking first. I've never had bridesmaid drama as either a bride or a BM but when it happens, it's generally the bride or her MOH asking too much and someone "feeling bad" because they have to decline. Don't fall into that trap. And on the bride, if she starts mentioning professional hair and makeup, she needs to understand that if it's required, she pays for it.
Positive: 50 %
Answer #7 | 02/01 2014 12:37
This conversation should be manditory. Ask awqay. Congrats on graduating.
Positive: 33.333333333333 %
Answer #8 | 02/01 2014 16:17
I don't understand the who trend of having bridesmaids pay for everything. If I ask you to be a bridesmaid you're doing me a favour, if I'm picking the dress, shoes, jewellery, makeup and hair I would never expect my bridesmaid to pay for it. If I picked a style that they might be able to wear later maybe $50 or something, but certainly not the whole thing.
Positive: 33.333333333333 %
Answer #9 | 03/01 2014 07:27
By all means you and the bride need to get together and make sure there is a good match between what she expects you to do and what you expect to do. Tell her you need to know about ALL expenses in advance, so that you can budget accordingly, and that you will not be able to absorb any unplanned expenses, so please think it all over carefully before she gives you a list of what will be expected. Make sure that each item comes with specific cost, for example "Dress etc, $400 or less" instead of "dress." Do not hesitate to insist on more information. "Will you be expecting me to have professional services for hair, nails, make up, etc? I have to budget for these things" and "Will I have to travel? Pay for any lodging or meals?" Get all this in writing so that you can later say "We didn't discuss sponsoring you to a Girls' Night Out; it's not in my budget." Also be prepared to back out if it seems this is going to cost a lot more money then you want to spend.
Positive: 33.333333333333 %
Answer #10 | 02/01 2014 16:52
As bridesmaid you will be responsible for your dress and alterations, transportation to and from the wedding, lodging, shower got, hair and makeup for the day if, and you will share expenses if there is a bachelorette party. You need to let her know what you can afford. Some brides split the cost with bridesmaids, but she has to know what your budget is.
Positive: 0 %
Answer #11 | 02/01 2014 16:50
By all means, ask your friend what expenses you're looking at. Be advised that your only "job" as a bridesmaids is to show up on the right day, wearing the right dress and shoes, holding a bunch of flowers and smiling. So don't be guilted into throwing bridal showers or bachelorette parties you can't afford to host. Not saying your friend would make these kinds of demands, just saying be wary.
Positive: 0 %

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