I have written this poem what are your thoughts?

Answer this question

  • I have written this poem what are your thoughts?


Answer #1 | 12/05 2009 16:04
My thoughts are not as important as where this poem took me.
Answer #2 | 12/05 2009 23:02
wow, wow, and wow, that was sooooooooooo awesome, seriously, I loved it, loved your tone, the story behind it, the music in it, each and every word, even teh name you chose, lovely, you better keep writing, you do have a talent :)
Answer #3 | 13/05 2009 02:09
The story of your poem and its images work nicely and the climbing rhyme of the lines in each tetrastych is reminiscent of that device in the partenza represa. Now my recollection is that those partenza lines are supposed to be written in iambic tetrameter, and these lines are neither iambic nor tetrameter... but they are lovely.
Answer #4 | 12/05 2009 21:24
it's like a beautiful dream slipping from my mind moments after I awake.
Answer #5 | 12/05 2009 20:37
I revisited childhood again. Beautiful, nostalgic, and heartwarming.
Answer #6 | 12/05 2009 19:14
That is so beautiful.
Answer #7 | 12/05 2009 19:15
I really like it. It's beautiful. Keep writing, please. =)
Answer #8 | 12/05 2009 20:34
Smiling!!! little hands..............babies breath growing up..............gentle breezes hearts entwined.......strong vines This is wonderful!!! Beautifully done!
Answer #9 | 13/05 2009 02:20
This is lovely; a wonderland visit to a childhood that was not mine, but one which brought so many memories of other children to mind. t
Answer #10 | 13/05 2009 04:07
I feel like this draws me into a beautiful dream state. Thank you for sharing your talent. Beautiful.
Answer #11 | 13/05 2009 13:10
beautiful poem, thanks
Answer #12 | 13/05 2009 06:50
This is wonderful! A couple of nitpicks: 1)Sylvie disappears and Sophie shows up -- makes the focus ambiguous 2)Adolescence is a state or condition. Adolescents are young adults. There are several ways to fix this in the poem, the simplest is to make the second instance 'adolescents' -- it won't hurt. Suggestion: Repeat the last line to give a sense of finality to the poem. It will also give emphasis to the sentiment that line holds. The creative idea of repeating a word in the next line leads to a constant sense of expectation. Repeating the last line will be like putting a hem on cloth -- a finish. I don't like to dissect a poem so much. I don't know why I did so here. This is really good. .
Answer #13 | 13/05 2009 07:20
You Rock! That was music. Better than music, it appealed to all my senses. This is what poetry is all about. Thank you!
Answer #14 | 13/05 2009 06:30
I think the way you've written this is very creative, without taking away at all from the beautiful story that you tell. Thank you for another great read!
Answer #15 | 13/05 2009 04:28
WOW!!!, I'm speechless.
Answer #16 | 13/05 2009 05:54
Breezy and beautiful. I love these.
Answer #17 | 13/05 2009 06:00
You are very good at these. Fond memories, though different, it brings to me.

Possible answer

Login to your account
Create new account