How can I improve my poem?

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  • How can I improve my poem?


Answer #1 | 19/12 2013 05:35
Its superb Ninja buddy :) It is absolutely well-written :) Though I'm not a poet and you too;) but I really appreciated that you attempted to write. For improvement- Only a poet can tell you, but for me its a superb poem :):):)
Answer #2 | 21/12 2013 07:08
It's great! I wish I could write (like) that! Well, I don't think it needs improving, since it AWESOME, but if you did you could add 'Or is it the way we laugh, while taking a bath, at two years old, what can be worth more gold?' or something like that... It was AMAZING, though!
Answer #3 | 21/12 2013 06:35
Wow! That was amazing :) The only thing that I could possibly think of, I'm not a poet by the way, would be to add more rhymes (like Carlos said). Overall, great job. Incredibly well written and tells a wonder life story in five paragraphs or lines or stanzas or whatever you poets call it. Impressive!
Answer #4 | 21/12 2013 04:06
Sing and dance.
Answer #5 | 21/12 2013 09:34
Add more rhyming words it sometimes helps in poems
Answer #6 | 21/12 2013 10:15
That poem was one of the most insightful things I have read. I am a published poet.For thee not for me.if you have questions about your writings, reading many others work might give you some ideas.
Answer #7 | 22/12 2013 12:57
you improve by writing what you really mean, disregarding what others think about it. those who recognize your work will admire it for your own originality, for if you take improvements from others, it only waters down your ingenuity
Answer #8 | 22/12 2013 08:37
it's perfect you don't need to improve anything. :)
Answer #9 | 21/12 2013 21:02
This is a wonderful poem :)
Answer #10 | 21/12 2013 19:24
Awesome, can't find anything wrong then again i'm not very poetic.
Answer #11 | 21/12 2013 01:43
We'll this is my honest opinion on your poem but.. We'll I LOVE IT !! I say you keep as it is. It's perfect
Answer #12 | 21/12 2013 00:51
Very nice poem,having great theme and Idea,showing plight of a student especially during the exam period, burning the mid night oil. Try to write in rhyme and rhythm or make it free versein impressive way. Better you right in British style where each first letter of every Line isin Capital. Its American style of poetry where its written in small letters. Stanza 3 - try to join the last two lines as it becomes superflous. avoid superflous words also. It should not look as prose. These are the only improvements and not shortcomings. If you do well if don't change no matter its nicely written. Read time and again and you will find where it need change. Last stanza is admirable. Good luck. Thanks.
Answer #13 | 19/12 2013 16:25
I love it!!! ^_^ I'd have no idea why it would've got reported. O.o You did really well, you have a talent! I love how it#s included all ages in life, and not just sticking to the young (teen) years. :) Keep on writing!
Answer #14 | 19/12 2013 15:02
Really nice poem i truelly appreciate your good effort and you have done well.... keep going , paragraph 3 & 4 is really impressive.. I want to see some more beautiful lines in future :)
Answer #15 | 19/12 2013 07:59
Oh, so nice !!**
Answer #16 | 19/12 2013 07:02
it sounds great but i'm not smart like you to give any suggestions,Ninja
Answer #17 | 19/12 2013 16:38
Answer #18 | 19/12 2013 22:36
i think your poem is very nice as it is.... i would not change it..cause it come from your heart i think
Answer #19 | 20/12 2013 11:12
Try contributing more imagination
Answer #20 | 20/12 2013 08:12
that was very nice, i thought you did a great job
Answer #21 | 20/12 2013 03:07
It's very nice
Answer #22 | 20/12 2013 01:15
I like it, it is very touching :) I see no need for improvement and even if I did I would advise not to. It's your first.
Answer #23 | 22/12 2013 14:37
I like it ^_^
Answer #24 | 22/12 2013 18:20
The person reporting this poem must have been jealous because this is a beautiful poem.
Answer #25 | 26/12 2013 01:54
its nice
Answer #26 | 26/12 2013 01:05
Well written buddy. "waking up and realize it's still possible to sleep '5 min', when there is lot of time left " really heart touching.
Answer #27 | 25/12 2013 22:07
Oh, so nice !
Answer #28 | 25/12 2013 21:43
wow fantastic. its a mind blowing poem.even i try to write this kind of poem i think i can't. to get better then this you should read the books related to the poetry and process of writing poem. it may help you.
Answer #29 | 26/12 2013 02:40
It is not perfect. It needs a little arranging of words. Some don't rhyme. Some words need to be changed. Some don't fit in the sentence.. Please review a little more. You can spot where changes are needed.
Answer #30 | 26/12 2013 07:23
every night, you should read for about 1 hour or half an hour of poetry
Answer #31 | 20/12 2013 14:15
Ninja Warrior My sweet friend, you have crossed the rubicon and are now in a special place, is called poetry-land, filled with milk and honey, to strengthen your bones, increase awareness, bolster confidence, and expand upon the humility you have exhibited since I have been posting on Yahoo Answers. This poem needs work, but the concept it outstanding, and your word choice, the use of "Or" to start each stanza, just little intangibles like that tell me you have an inherent gift for poetry, and I look forward to more from you. I thoroughly enjoyed the ride of life and story to your poem. Congrats ____________________________________________________________
Answer #32 | 27/12 2013 04:43
Good poem, makes a good read. Each paragraph stands alive with a rather sharp poise. Keep up the good work and continue to explore your talent and creativity and soon you'll write great poems - Deline
Answer #33 | 27/12 2013 04:13
very good poem
Answer #34 | 27/12 2013 03:08
Your poem is superb. As I think this one is perfectly written by you. And If write something from your heart there is no need to do improvement in this. Write what your hurts speaks. I am also a writer and I love to write "Shayar". I write my shayri for my fb page depth of heart. I wrote what my heart speaks to me. And I also suggest you that write what your heart speaks and that will be best. Here is my some words for your poem SomE Times in life you can not express some feeling but you can write those expressions in your own words. You write some Words abOut your lOve, about your some one SPeCial, those words become voice of your heart and come from your depth of heart...
Answer #35 | 25/12 2013 20:43
Try using a large variety of language techniques, a poem does not necessarily have to rhyme to be good. Giving ideas further meaning. For example the NZ poet JK Baxter uses metonymies to describe his thoughts towards today's society (in the poem the cold hub). Also try looking at a variety of different poets such with a wide variety of structure, techniques and ideas.
Answer #36 | 25/12 2013 19:18
Very carefully, that's how.
Answer #37 | 23/12 2013 22:25
it is awesome no need to do any kind of changes in your poem. Thaks
Answer #38 | 23/12 2013 16:45
Add the following; You'll never be rich, you son of a bitcch
Answer #39 | 23/12 2013 13:56
It's very good. But not great. But I think I have seen some lines of this poem before also.....
Answer #40 | 23/12 2013 00:27
This poem is BEAUTIFUL! It is so perfect! Last two parts remind me of my life right now.... Good work!!
Answer #41 | 24/12 2013 01:16
Roses are red Violets are blue Your poem is awesome already and so are you.
Answer #42 | 24/12 2013 10:05
That's fantabulous!!
Answer #43 | 25/12 2013 17:58
wow!!osm ideas n osm penning...n i'm surprised dat dis's ur 1st poetry..!!gr8 work frnd!
Answer #44 | 25/12 2013 06:05
beautiful poem! : -) I write poems, but i'm not good at this.. But you can try with many inspirations.. : -)
Answer #45 | 24/12 2013 21:50
shorter and sweater but other whise aesome
Answer #46 | 24/12 2013 18:27
keep going on

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