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Help with my story? I don't know how to change this part to make it sound better.?

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  • Help with my story? I don't know how to change this part to make it sound better.?


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Answer #1 | 02/01 2014 11:47
This is really good! I don't think you need to make it better. Maybe the paragraph structure is a tiny bit messy, but I'm sure you'll be able to tidy that up your self. :) Since you're a writer could you answer mine please? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AobO_AED.tUOAKcK8IZMairty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20140101213210AAT0Fbz

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