Get married senior year in college?

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  • Get married senior year in college?


Answer #1 | 02/01 2014 13:57
Ack, no. My daughter and her fiancé graduated in May and are getting married next fall last semester senior yea is hectic. Plan the wedding for after you graduate. She should not be planning a wedding while in college Going through all of that right now- she needs to concentrate ONLY on school
Positive: 100 %
Answer #2 | 02/01 2014 11:35
Speaking from experience, I would wait until you have both graduated and settled. That first year out of college is extremely stressful, whether you get a job right out of the gate or not. You are basically changing careers (full time student to full time worker bee) and changing your lifestyle because of that career change. You do not want to throw the stress of wedding planning on top of all of that. I know it can be tempting. I married my college sweetheart a couple of years after graduating and, believe me, I thought about doing it sooner a million times. Waiting turned out to be a pretty smart move. It gave us time to settle into jobs, establish ourselves financially, and it only solidified our decision to tie the knot. When it came time to plan the wedding, we were more financially and emotionally ready to take that step than we would have been in or right after college. Just my two cents, take it or leave it. Best of luck, whatever you decide.
Positive: 100 %
Answer #3 | 02/01 2014 12:23
First, since both of you sound intelligent, I'm going to guess you already know the answer to this question. To be blunt, your idea is insane! The biggest problem has to do with the issue of "college kids turning into adults". All of us with college degrees went through this, but most of us don't sabotage the process by getting married while in school, or even the year or so after. There are reasons for this. Forget love for a minute, because marriage is about all sorts of things. If a couple wants to avoid the 50 percent crash and burn rate of marriages, the first and biggest thing to do is make sure your partner is capable of living independently, getting and keeping a good job, setting a budget and adhering to it, saving money, etc. The corollary to this is that as the 2 of you start this process you need to make sure you talk through what your own spending paradigm as a couple will be. How do you pay off debt? How do you save? What types of purchases do both of you need to agree on before made? This stuff doesn't magically sort itself out once you're each wearing wedding bands. It's a process of give and take, getting to know each other, and solid communication skills when conflict arises. This isn't a function of brains, degrees or job offers. It's a function of time and focus. You couldn't possibly be there yet. Give yourselves the best chance possible, and that means nurturing the relationship, not rushing into the lifelong commitment. Part of nurturing a relationship is making sure you're the best you can be for the other. I was 26 when we got married after 3.5 years of dating, and I used that time to grow up and adapt to truly being an adult. This just meant I was ready for him.
Positive: 100 %
Answer #4 | 02/01 2014 11:32
Both of you should get situated in your new jobs, and then lan the wedding. Being married is a job in itself - far more difficult than anyone realizes until the day after - and you don't want to combine that with keeping up appearances at a new position. Do one thing at a time - she isn't going anywhere, but you could be very sorry if you don't pace yourself. Give yourselves the best chance at success, and wait a while. Added - I agree with Fireflies - she said it better.

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