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What do I say when speaking to someone whose loved one just died besides "I am sorry for your loss"?

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  • What do I say when speaking to someone whose loved one just died besides "I am sorry for your loss"?


Answers

Answer #1 | 20/10 2016 21:51
Tell the person that they are in your thoughts and that if they need a shoulder or anything you are there for them :)
Positive: 97 %
Answer #2 | 20/10 2016 21:07
Honestly, there is nothing you can say that will make things better for them. So say nothing.
Positive: 91 %
Answer #3 | 20/10 2016 21:06
You don't have to say anything, just sit next to them and listen to their pain, or hug them or pat their backs.
Positive: 71 %
Answer #4 | 20/10 2016 20:56
I am praying for you You are in my thoughts You have my deep sympathy at this sad time
Positive: 39 %
Answer #5 | 21/10 2016 11:33
That's all you need say at the time, and do it as soon as possible. Don't put off saying or writing it for fear of hurting the bereaved person, and it should be by a prompt hand-written letter, phone-call or personal visit (not a text message). What *not* to say is very important too, so don't say "I know how you feel" (because you don't), or things like "My uncle died of that too." If they want to talk about the person or the circumstances of the death, then let them, but don't interrupt with parallel experiences of your own. Don't offer hugs -- a lot of people don't like physical contact, particularly in these circumstances. More importantly, remember their loss three months, six months down the line and don't assume they will have "got over it". It is said that people need to have been bereaved for a full year and experienced every birthday, anniversary or holiday without their loved one to finally realise they are gone. Festivals like Christmas and Easter can be very difficult times for the bereaved. Any card you send in the months after a bereavement should be relatively plain with a simple greeting. If you bump into the person at a time like this, you can say sympathetically, "It won't be the same without John this year."It is a nice idea to refer to the person who has passed on to show you haven't forgotten them. The bereaved are often hurt by people crossing the street to avoid talking to them, or by people not referring to their deceased loved one, who they don't want to be forgotten.
Positive: 10 %
Answer #6 | 21/10 2016 00:47
Nothing You Visit them for real (Not on facebook or over the phone) You bring a **** load of tea and rock sugar and cookies with cinnamon and ginger and a huuuuuge caserole good fir two meals. you ask that person what they wanna do or what they hate that they have to do and then you ask if you two should just do that together. If they dont know what to do you can ask if they wanna go on a trip or go for a makeover/spa weekend or if they wanna go biking or so
Positive: 10 %
Answer #7 | 20/10 2016 23:56
DON'T tell them you're "there for them" unless you really are - I mean, like a very close friend. Mostly it's a meaningless thing to say, and people know it.
Positive: 10 %
Answer #8 | 20/10 2016 22:09
If you knew the deceased, offering up a story about them can be a comfort. Something like "I'm just remembering how much John loved xyz. Every time I do xyz I think about him."
Positive: 10 %
Answer #9 | 23/10 2016 04:33
Remind them there is no God and heaven is not real. Tell them you hope they enjoyed their time here on earth because they will never see their loved one again.
Positive: 10 %
Answer #10 | 21/10 2016 07:43
you want to give comfort, that's ok.
Positive: 10 %
Answer #11 | 20/10 2016 23:47
your friend is dead, he O.D.'ed.
Positive: 10 %
Answer #12 | 20/10 2016 23:28
Tell them youre here for them
Positive: 10 %
Answer #13 | 20/10 2016 23:16
dont say anything ..just be there for them
Positive: 10 %
Answer #14 | 21/10 2016 04:33
That's all you need say at the time, and do it as soon as possible. Don't put off saying or writing it for fear of hurting the bereaved person, and it should be by a prompt hand-written letter, phone-call or personal visit (not a text message). What *not* to say is very important too, so don't say "I know how you feel" (because you don't), or things like "My uncle died of that too." If they want to talk about the person or the circumstances of the death, then let them, but don't interrupt with parallel experiences of your own. Don't offer hugs -- a lot of people don't like physical contact, particularly in these circumstances. More importantly, remember their loss three months, six months down the line and don't assume they will have "got over it". It is said that people need to have been bereaved for a full year and experienced every birthday, anniversary or holiday without their loved one to finally realise they are gone. Festivals like Christmas and Easter can be very difficult times for the bereaved. Any card you send in the months after a bereavement should be relatively plain with a simple greeting. If you bump into the person at a time like this, you can say sympathetically, "It won't be the same without John this year."It is a nice idea to refer to the person who has passed on to show you haven't forgotten them. The bereaved are often hurt by people crossing the street to avoid talking to them, or by people not referring to their deceased loved one, who they don't want to be forgotten.
Positive: 10 %
Answer #15 | 20/10 2016 17:47
Nothing You Visit them for real (Not on facebook or over the phone) You bring a **** load of tea and rock sugar and cookies with cinnamon and ginger and a huuuuuge caserole good fir two meals. you ask that person what they wanna do or what they hate that they have to do and then you ask if you two should just do that together. If they dont know what to do you can ask if they wanna go on a trip or go for a makeover/spa weekend or if they wanna go biking or so
Positive: 10 %
Answer #16 | 20/10 2016 16:56
DON'T tell them you're "there for them" unless you really are - I mean, like a very close friend. Mostly it's a meaningless thing to say, and people know it.
Positive: 10 %
Answer #17 | 20/10 2016 15:09
If you knew the deceased, offering up a story about them can be a comfort. Something like "I'm just remembering how much John loved xyz. Every time I do xyz I think about him."
Positive: 10 %
Answer #18 | 22/10 2016 21:33
Remind them there is no God and heaven is not real. Tell them you hope they enjoyed their time here on earth because they will never see their loved one again.
Positive: 10 %
Answer #19 | 21/10 2016 00:43
you want to give comfort, that's ok.
Positive: 10 %
Answer #20 | 20/10 2016 16:47
your friend is dead, he O.D.'ed.
Positive: 10 %
Answer #21 | 20/10 2016 16:28
Tell them youre here for them
Positive: 10 %
Answer #22 | 20/10 2016 16:16
dont say anything ..just be there for them
Positive: 10 %
Answer #23 | 20/10 2016 14:51
Tell the person that they are in your thoughts and that if they need a shoulder or anything you are there for them :)
Positive: 10 %
Answer #24 | 20/10 2016 14:07
Honestly, there is nothing you can say that will make things better for them. So say nothing.
Positive: 10 %
Answer #25 | 20/10 2016 14:06
You don't have to say anything, just sit next to them and listen to their pain, or hug them or pat their backs.
Positive: 10 %
Answer #26 | 20/10 2016 13:56
I am praying for you You are in my thoughts You have my deep sympathy at this sad time
Positive: 10 %

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