Please help fix my poem!?

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  • Please help fix my poem!?


Answer #1 | 19/12 2013 19:19
"every last" kind of contradicts itself, i think i would replace it with a different adjective, maybe "aching breaths". I think adding a "to" after "come" would help with the flow.
Positive: 89 %
Answer #2 | 19/12 2013 20:10
Can't fix something that don't need fixing Fantastic Poem
Positive: 83 %

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